My Path to Better Body Image

By Kelsey Burlini a dietetic intern with Nourishment Works, Summer 2020

Photo of a hilly asphalt rural road between a forest of trees.

MY BODY IMAGE JOURNEY…

Let me start by saying that body image work is hard. It is a constant battle that even I, a trained nutrition expert and future Registered Dietitian, struggle with all the time. I can hardly even remember a time in my life when my body image was not lurking in the back of my thoughts. There are so many messages being thrown at us every single day that say “you aren’t good enough” or “your body is not worthy unless you look a certain way” and the sad part is, I believed these messages. For the longest time, I would scroll through social media and see endless photos of beautiful, perfectly shaped bodies that appeared to be so happy and carefree. I would look at those photos and think to myself, “you will never look like them.” My whole life, I have been an athletic gal. I played sports from the time my parents could put a ball in my hand and will continue to use my athletic ability until the end of time. But with that athleticism, came a body that featured broad shoulders, thick thighs, and strong arms. Features I would often look at and think were manly, ugly, unfeminine, or too big. There were times when those thoughts of dissatisfaction became completely unbearable. There did not seem to be anything in particular that really kick-started the need for “perfection”, but it really became more apparent how insecure I was during college. I often found myself excessively working out, worrying about what I put in my mouth, and concerned that people would think less of me because of the way my belly looked in a tight shirt or because my shoulders took up more space while sitting in cramped lecture hall seats. But, one day, I looked at myself in the mirror and truly, I did not recognize the girl looking back at me. That is when the light bulb went off that I needed to show myself more grace and learn how to appreciate the body I was in. 

As I transitioned from college to graduate school, I was in a whole new ballpark. I was so excited to find myself, do what I love, and surround myself with like-minded people. Now, graduate school combined with a dietetic internship is not all peaches and roses. I knew going into it that It was going to be a grind- mentally, physically, and emotionally. It continues to be extremely stressful, daunting, and challenging. Yet it brought to light various aspects of my life that needed attending to. The more vulnerable I became with myself and my surroundings, the more I began to understand myself and appreciate who I was. I was no longer the unrecognizable girl I saw in the mirror back in college. No. I was a smart woman. A caring woman. A strong woman. A successful, hard-working woman. I was beautiful. My broad shoulders, thick thighs, and belly were no longer a concern. They all served a purpose for me and it was about damn time I realized it.

Now, when I dance around my living room after I get that “A” I worked so hard for, I don’t think about how my thighs are jiggling. Rather, I think about how thankful I am that my body is capable of so much. When I look at the leftovers in the fridge, I don’t think of it as something I can’t have. Rather, I think of the memories of the night before and staying up way too late laughing with my friends. Life is a journey and a special one. It is not about how small or large we are. It is about the quality of our relationships with ourselves, those around us and the time spent with others. 

We are all more than what we look like. We are intelligent, powerful, strong, beautiful people. My body is more than just a shape. My body deserves respect. My body needs care. And my body will not be compared. My body does so much for me and I will honor it because it deserves it.